Competition is a Foreign Language

Our culture and that of many others is competitive by nature. We've been lead to believe that there isn't enough for everyone. That others aren't to be trusted and that if we aren't winning, we must be losing. That we have to paddle up hill to get where we want to go. We've bought into the notion that we can't just be. Does anybody let their guard down anymore?

Matthew has brought something to this life that's uniquely his. He has found a way of being that allows for growth and independence without alienating others. He plays video games in such a way that it drives his brother nuts. He gets taking turns. You go, then I go, then you go, etc..But, to what end? He doesn't seem to have the capacity to want to beat or be better than someone else. It's so refreshing to watch him engage in life with no inkling toward coming out on top.

Our culture would label him with unpleasant names, such as, unambitious. Which of course, means noncompetitive. But, Matthew lives life fully. He may not be engaged in a way that's easily read or understood. He has his own way of engaging in what interests him. He has no tolerance for things that are unpleasant to him. He cares only for that which pleases and makes him happy. Or those things that make him laugh.

As I've said before, regarding Matthew, there is something to be learned by us. He's made no conscious claim of it but, I believe he's here to teach us something, as I believe all people with autism are here to teach us something. I don't believe that there are suddenly tens or hundreds of thousands of kids with autism on the planet because of the water, or pollutants, or vaccines, or whatever the cause dejour is.

If these kids respond so well to love, nature, laughter, music... If they don't have a true sense of gender, ego, or time.. all human characteristics. It seems to me that it's not too far fetched to think they're here to teach humanity a little bit about God. I don't mean it in a secular way. I mean the power of the universe, non judgement, spiritual energy if you will. This wasn't always the way I saw things. I was a firm believer that my son was broken and needed to be fixed, for many years. Over time, I grew and became more willing to see things his way, rather than continuing to force him to see things my way.

I have found over the years that the more willing I am to step into Matthew's world, the more willing he is to reciprocate, and step into mine. The safer he feels in this world the more willing he is to stay for extended periods of time. He has something profound to offer this world. I'm sure of it. And he will give it to us in his own time on his own terms. Perhaps, he is sharing it with us all now and all we have to do is take notice.